Perfection is a word I like to throw around a lot, but mostly (read: “only”) when referring to myself. As far as donuts go this might just be the Dan Pastry of Pastries. Greatest of all time (GOAT) material. In conjunction with Duck Donuts, I present to you: the Maple Bacon Donut.
Do you hear harp strings being plucked and the laughter of children every time you say Maple Bacon? If it’s just me I have a serious condition that has gone otherwise untreated.
Two years ago I made my first trip to the Outer Banks; a very popular vacation destination located off the coast of North Carolina. I made two discoveries that year: 1) I am prone to horrific sun burn and have to wear one of those over sized hats fancy women adorn for horse races, and 2) Duck Donuts. My life and complexion has forever changed.
Duck Donuts is an institution unlike any of your standard donut shops. Donuts are individually made fresh to order, and forged right in front of you. Yes, I say forged because it IS just like when Elrond of Rivendell reforges Narsil, the sword of the King of Gondor. Lines can get long inside as some pastry rookies do not know how to prepare their order in advance and convey it properly to the staff. It Pastry people, and Dan’s all-Pro.
On my very first morning at the beach, I sought out the greatest prize to be had. I headed for the Duck Donuts shop convinced I was taking home a dozen to those lucky enough to be in my company. I ended up with the originally intended dozen Maple Bacon and a back-up dozen of a variety. Well, some people refer to them as a “back-up dozen.” I prefer “pallet cleansers.”
Maple Bacon Donuts are intimidating. To a novice it seems overpowering. To the pro, however, they are the perfect combination of salty, sweet, and smokey. It opens your morning with a definitive proclamation, and are as strong as the recommended accompanying cup of coffee. Steve Jobs was rumored to have been attempting to integrate these Donuts into his iOS software at the time of his passing.
You have to take into consideration that these are freshly prepared donuts. The consistency is incredibly soft, practicially crumbling apart with every bite. That is an experience that is normally saved for finer baked pastries and bereft in the Kingdom of the Donut.
An amazing part of the entire experience, however, is when you don’t finish the entire dozen. A wild concept, I know. But trust me here. Leave a few donuts to sit over a period of a few hours allows them to harden slightly. The same donut, multiple cosnsitencies, over the course of one day. It’s the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be…
Reviewing this very donut is the reason I signed on to do this column. It is the zenith. I have run out of metaphor to fully describe my love and adoration for this Donut. I feel these fellas can finish the job from here: