Usually, when sitting down with an ice-cold beer, I do it to relish in the experience. It’s to lean back in my chair, appreciate the flavors, while the suds dance around on my taste buds, and get emotional when nothing is left in the glass except for the sheer, foam lacing. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that on more than one occasion I drink for the sole purpose of just blacking out, removing my shorts, and cracking my collar bone while trying to break into my own house window (even though the front door isn’t even locked), but that’s a story for another day. So, back on topic, when getting shit-housed, why not have something on hand to get you to the finish line fast? Really fast. The Beer Tusk is here to help.
We all know what “shotgunning” is, but in case you were in the Model UN Club during college, I’ll give you the Cliff’s Notes version. It’s when you take a knife, key, thumb, etc., jam it through a beer can (towards the bottom), place your mouth over the hole, rotate the can horizontally, pop the tab and let gravity force the beer down your gullet. The problem is, that there is a bit of risk that accompanies this technique. Ya see, when aggressively plunging one of these foreign objects into said can, you are left with the danger of shredding your fingers and disfiguring your face on the jagged aluminum. As the creators of the Beer Tusk, Raging Mammoth, so eloquently put it, “keys are made for doors, not beers.”
The Beer Tusk conveniently rests on your key ring or comfortably in your pocket. It punctures a large, clean-cut hole in your drinking vessel so that you can safely slurp your beer without a care in the f’ing world. Plus, it does it all with zero beer spray! So you don’t have to worry about drenching your friends with Natural Ice while trying to show off. BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! The shiny little sidekick even doubles as a standard opener for your beer bottle!
Now, I ask YOU, faithful Beer & Pig reader, what’s not to love? After all, this is a tool that advances the art of intoxication for the greater good of this fine planet! So, saunter on over to their Kickstarter, toss em’ a few shekels and wait for your Beer Tusk to arrive so we can all gather in the streets to pound beers the way our founding fathers intended!