Ice. It’s not just the first name of several hip hop artists. It’s also a cold, wet substance that USED to be necessary to keep your beers cold while being outdoors. I say USED to, because mole men be damned, the “Earth Cooler” from eCool is here to change up the paradigm.
With the ability to hold 24 cans of delicious beer, this crazy ass invention can be used outdoors and year round. It’s requires no electricity and stays frost-free year round. The price tag is a stout 349 dollars, but some of us have spent more on coolers that DON’T double as a first strike weapon against the Tremors.
Just imagine sitting in the backyard, cranking away! Instead of the neighbors calling the police, you would be rewarded by an earth cooled beer. You can check out what the Earth Cooler looks like before installation on eCool’s Facebook page. It’s a pretty wonderful idea and you wonder how many different ways humanity will develop to open beers or keep them cold. I mean, it’s getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous.
Sitting. It’s better than standing. And you never know when you’ll be standing and realize that it would be better to take a seat. With hundreds of crappy, portable chairs available at every sporting goods or beach shop, one has to be careful one is not buying a chair that is incapable of also enabling your drinking problem. Enter this beauty to the right.
With a detachable cooler that holds up to 24 cold, adult beverages, flip out table with beverage holder with a padded seat & back for your fat ass, THIS chair has all of your vices covered.
While your dumbass friend is snapping 20-dollar beach chair after 20-dollar beach chair, you’ll be comfortably sitting and binge drinking at your favorite beach or camping location.
You can purchase your backpack cooler chair on Hammacher’s website. At 140 clams, it’s a bit on the pricey side, but you’ll be drunk & lazy on the beach. You can’t put a price on that now, can you? While you’re on the site, you might as well pick up a flying bicycle or a fire-breathing dragon. Summer is only here for so long.
Coozies! They keep your hand warm and your beer cold. What’s not to like? Of course, we are partial to THESE coozies, but mini keg coozies bring a new spin to an old favorite. Although 12 bucks seems a little steep, these would must assuredly please any alcoholic on your late Christmas gift list. Described as thusly from their amazon page:
Can Koozies Set of 2 – Kegzie Beer Keg Holder for Your Aluminum Soda Pop Can Chiller – Great Gift Item or Stocking Stuffer – Sturdy Foam Insulated Outdoor Beverage Cooler Sleeve Great for Tiny Kegger Party Drinks
TINY KEGGER PARTIES! Man. I wonder if that means they include tiny bro-doggs punching each other silly while tiny college girls are given GHB upstairs by the tiny bro-doggs fraternity brothers?! Turn on the tiny foam machine, bro! Anyhoo, buy your own set of Mini Keg Coozies HERE.
Beer. It has stereotypes like anything else in this mixed up world of ours. One of the biggest that we can think of is that winter beers need to taste as dark as the season of the year they represent.
Molasses, smoke, bourbon, and misery seem to dominate most of the beers that show when the days get short and the nights get cold. Now, don’t get us wrong, all of those things can be delicious, especially when it comes to craft beer. Even so, it’s nice to deviate from the status quo from time to time. You know, like when you run out of urine when signing your name in the snow after 4 or 5 really good beers. *Spoiler Alert* This is one of those beers.
@chaddukes thanks chad, will see u there bro
— BLACKBERRY SMOKE (@blackberrysmoke) October 17, 2013
Blackberry Smoke. They used to be a really good band that I loved that deserved way more recognition. Now they are a really good band that I love that has completely blown up, goes on the Tonight Show and sells out massive venues all over the country. Well done boys. Blackberry Smoke has proven that Taylor Swift & Lady Antebellum is NOT the only thing out there for those of us that like our rock a little country and our country a little rock. Good music still exists.
The boys are playing the Fillmore in Silver Spring, a venue of note. I’m going and so is everyone from Beer & Pig. You have two options if you are a fan of music with instruments: Get your ass to the Smoke Show or get your ass to Mars. Turn the volume all the way up on your shitty 4 year old laptop and hit the jump, Brothers & Sisters.