This is going to be a tough one to write. Quite humbling actually.
Let’s back it up a few weeks, ease into things…
First of all, I’d love to say “it’s great to be back” and “I love all my fans.”
It’s not – I don’t.
I now know exactly how three out of the four Baldwin brothers feel. Every day I am hounded incessantly by peasant-folk:
“Pastry, when are you going make your return?!”
“Daniel, tell me if you like this crueller!”
“PLEASE Mr. Pastry, come to Canada, teach us how to be more like you!”
Here’s some quick answers to all of these: I’m not some cheesy Mayhem in the Morning-Zoo DJ, and I’m not spinning records in da’ club. I DON’T DO REQUESTS!!
– Oh, and this* too. (*nsfw)
Wow; I feel A LOT better now. Really good to get all that off my chest, and we can move on from this together.
A certain holiday came and went about two some odd weeks ago. National Donut Day is much like Thanksgiving to many; a full day’s event, all in celebration of what many assume to be the King that sits the throne above the greater pastry world.
It’s a big deal. Then again so am I. Yet, unlike previous years, I felt my mission to be different on this particular June 7th. Previously I have gone to great lengths to seek out a rare prize. No distance was too far to travel, no donut out of my reach. I always obtained the unobtainable.
This year, well, it just struck a different chord within me. Instead of hunting down a “Yeti” (that’s how us pastry-professionals refer to a particularly rare confection), I would go for an even bigger prize. I would attempt to traverse the gauntlet, complete the marathon, demolish the Persian army…over the course of the day:
I would eat a bakers-dozen of artisan donuts!
This is a very special edition of Pastry’s Corner!
No, I am not announcing that I will be filling in for Jimmy Fallon in 2014. That deal fell apart because apparently (you won’t believe this) some high level executives over at NBC never heard of “Pastry Dan.” Try stepping out of the dark-ages and use the Google machine!!! I’m big! I’m so hot right now!!
I’m fine though – Really. You cannot contain a shooting star.
For now, this DIAMOND-IN-THE-DAMN-ROUGH is relegated to sharing his talent and charms with you… here.
So I figured I would strain my back a little more and continue to carry this blog site through the next Season. In part, most of that decision revolved around a beer I found while I was on something that most experts refer to as a complete shame spiral bender towards the dark oblivion of death: Rouge VooDoo Donut Bacon Maple Ale. From their website :
“Rogue Ales has collided with Voodoo Doughnut to create Bacon Maple Ale! This unique artisan creation contains a baker’s dozen number of ingredients including bacon and maple syrup from one of Voodoo’s signature doughnuts.”
For those not in the know, Voodoo Doughnuts is one of the premier doughnut shops in the country. They are famous for innovative flavors and toppings, and they are also heralded as the proud originators of the maple bacon doughnut. Rogue has a slew of original beers as well. Suffice to say, with their powers combined – yeah: Captain Planet. Boom. (more…)
It’s been a whirlwind few months for your favorite patriotic pastry patriarch.
I’ve been working as an on-set consultant for the latest season of Sons of Anarchy. Kurt Sutter is an old friend (we met in the late 70’s in Middle School). Kurt was trying to go back to his roots with the writing for this season, and no root is stronger than the bond with Ol’ Daniel Pastry. And before you ask; yes, I did have full control over craft services.
After turning down an offer from FX for a spin-off, I really settled into a personal quest to find myself. And I definitely found myself. I found myself in very destructive relationships with managers and agents. I found myself waking up in strange beds all across LA. I found out that the powder on my nose wasn’t from donuts. I found out, this is not who I am.
I needed to be Pastry Dan again. For you, and for me. While getting my life straight, aimlessly driving around looking for signs, I stumbled into a Dunkin’ Donuts. I just needed a taste of what got me started. What I found was the catalyst for change. I found the Dunkin’ Donuts Oreo Donut.
Oreo dominates the world of Cookies. The Keebler Elves couldn’t achieve the kind of success Oreo has realized with three magic baking trees and a signed contract with the Devil himself. But really, who would want that?
The following is from the July 2nd press release via the Dunkin’ Donuts website:
OREO Donut – A yeast donut, filled with vanilla buttercreme, frosted in white icing and topped with OREO cookie crumble.
OREO Crumble Donut – A yeast ring donut frosted in white icing and topped with OREO cookie crumble.
It’s like a choir of angels are singing directly to me…
Perfection is a word I like to throw around a lot, but mostly (read: “only”) when referring to myself. As far as donuts go this might just be the Dan Pastry of Pastries. Greatest of all time (GOAT) material. In conjunction with Duck Donuts, I present to you: the Maple Bacon Donut.
Do you hear harp strings being plucked and the laughter of children every time you say Maple Bacon? If it’s just me I have a serious condition that has gone otherwise untreated.
Two years ago I made my first trip to the Outer Banks; a very popular vacation destination located off the coast of North Carolina. I made two discoveries that year: 1) I am prone to horrific sun burn and have to wear one of those over sized hats fancy women adorn for horse races, and 2) Duck Donuts. My life and complexion has forever changed.
Duck Donuts is an institution unlike any of your standard donut shops. Donuts are individually made fresh to order, and forged right in front of you. Yes, I say forged because it IS just like when Elrond of Rivendell reforges Narsil, the sword of the King of Gondor. Lines can get long inside as some pastry rookies do not know how to prepare their order in advance and convey it properly to the staff. It Pastry people, and Dan’s all-Pro.
It was just the other day that I was bemoaning the fact that Sheetz had been advertising the Orange Creamsicle for a good two months, and then 7-11 snuck in and struck first with the Orange Cream Dream doughnut.
But on yesterday morning I strolled into Sheetz (expecting again to be disappointed) when what shouled appear before mine very wondering eyes, but the Orange Creamsicle doughnut. In a complete panic )and possibly equal parts rage and elation) I pushed past the clerk and grabbed the whole tray. I threw a wad of cash at the poor girl and ran out the store (laughing maniacally). It’s probably not healthy to have that kind of reaction to a doughnutbut who the H are you to judge? We all have our own vices. I think she thought I was some pastry inspired super-villain.
I strolled into work triumphantly, puffing my chest and arms at each side. Everyone knew it was a special day. They saw the glimmer in my eye and were nearly blinded by the shine off my grin. I opened the bag and took a deep breath to get the initial smell. Now, the smell of fresh doughnuts is hard to beat. The addition of the orange essence was simply wonderful. I’ve waited months for what came next… (more…)